There’s time enough, but none to spare.
Charles W. Chesnutt
i want to sleep for 2 years and wake up with a degree, an apartment and money in the bank.
did u guys see me at the oscars
Here’s a little chair into which you can strap your kid and force them to watch you take a dump. Neat, huh?
I’m pretty good at cooking i can make a mean chicken
trying to comfort a friend
*forgets to talk to friends for 4 weeks*
- Leonardo DiCaprio: *names his child Oscar*
- Doctor: "Would you like to hold h-"
- Leonardo DiCaprio: "Say it like we rehearsed it."
- Doctor: *sighs* "And the Oscar goes to..."